The Anti-Bridezilla Guide To Bridesmaids

Having your BBFs by your side as your marry the one you love is one of the best things about getting married. The outpouring of love and support is impermeable and it might even take you by surprise. Your closest friends and family members want the best for you and they want your wedding to be perfect. Here’s what you can do to return the favor.



Choosing Your Crew

First thing’s first: start off with a killer bridal party! Not everyone can be your bridesmaid and not everyone wants to be, so think seriously about who you want next to you at the altar. I’ll never forget a bachelorette party where a bridesmaid joked about how long the marriage would last. The MOH and I nearly clocked her in the face, but at that moment I decided I didn’t want any negativity around me during my special time. Moral of the story: remember to pick your most positive, helpful, and supportive friends.

When asking your friends if they’ll be apart of your wedding, remember that not everyone will be able to commit. Let them know that you won’t take it personally, and seriously… don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean they love you any less. For more advice on choosing your bridesmaids check out my blog on the guest list.



The Big Proposal

Your fiancé put effort into proposing to you, and you should do the same for your ‘maids! I ordered simple cards from Amazon, hot-glued ribbon in the center, and tied on these little ‘love knot’ rings. On each card, I wrote a few sentences about why I wanted each girl to be by my side. Then I hosted a small dinner at my apartment where I cooked a delicious meal, served them wine, and proposed! It was so much fun, and proved that a little effort goes a long way.

Keep Their Budget in Mind

The duty of a bridesmaid isn’t a walk in the park. They’re expected to help plan the Bridal Shower and the Bachelorette Party, be called upon for DIY projects, and sometimes shell out some serious cash. Here’s what you can do to make sure you’re not a financial burden:

  • You can have a destination wedding or a destination bachelorette party. Not both. It’s not fair to expect people to plan two extravagant trips in one year.
  • Decide between a fabulous Bridal Shower or Bachelorette party. Don’t make your ‘maids pay for both. My parents gracefully offered to host the Bridal Shower, and my ‘maids were sweet enough to cover my hotel expenses during the Bachelorette.
  • Double up on your Bachelorette Party plans. I specifically organized my Bachelorette Party days before my 30th birthday. This way my friends didn’t feel obligated to do something for my birthday down the line- we celebrated both in Vegas!
  • Don’t force them to use a glam squad at the wedding, but give them the option. Get a hair and makeup quote and ask your ‘maids who wants in. Getting a deposit before the wedding also makes sure they’re committed.
  • Let your girls pick their own mix and match dresses.  Make sure to give clear guidelines: a specific color palette, the same length, and similar sleeves make for a cohesive look. I emailed my ‘maids a mood board, color scheme, and  pre-approved dresses to choose from. Those who wanted to find their own dresses showed me photos before purchasing. I was very clear that I had vetoing rights, but it wasn’t necessary! My girls slayed in their gold and blush gowns. Some girls spent as little as $50, and some rented from RTR.



Give Back

I wanted to say “thank you” to my maids throughout my engagement, so I gave them lots of little gifts here and there. It’s customary to give your bridal party presents on your wedding day, and going the extra mile won’t hurt a fly!





  • On the morning of my wedding, I greeted my squad with miniature bottles of La Marca Prosecco so we could get the party started! I also catered a simple but delicious lunch so no one went hungry.
  • Finally, I put together gift bags with sheet masks, snacks, water, and custom engraved jewelry for the wedding day. This is where I slipped in a printed itinerary. (No excuses for lateness!)



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2 Responses

  1. Anonymous
    | Reply

    I love your bridesmaid dresses!!! where do your maids get their dresses from?

    • Jess
      | Reply

      Thank you! They really did look beautiful. Some girls rented from and the rest purchased from Anthropologie, Lulus, and even local boutiques.

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