Ahhh men. It would be too cliche to say “you can’t live with them, but you can’t live without them.” The real truth is that you can’t dress for them. Because sometimes– not always– but sometimes, they just don’t get it.
Allow me to quote the fabulously outrageous Betsey Johnson:
“Girls don’t dress for boys. They dress for themselves.
If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.”
Girlfriend, you speak the truth. Men want women to dress sexy, and for most respectable gents this means clean lines that highlight your assets, diminish your flaws, and neglect to distract from your undeniable natural beauty. End of story.
Generally speaking, this is a great rule of thumb. Sometimes, however, you want to be a little bit fabulous, a little bit rock ‘n roll, and the envy of every fashionista in the room.
Without further ado: an ode to outfits my boyfriend (and probably yours) hates:
Regardless of whether it’s a vest, a collar, faux or real- you’re boyfriend probably hates fur. Why? It sheds. Men typically see a dead animal, even though true fashionitas know faux is the way to go and wouldn’t dare wear a real pelt. Additionally, it tends to hide your figure.
We love it because its a luxurious nod to a time before: when a teddy-bear of a coat caressed the likes of Elizabeth Taylor or Marilyn Monroe’s fair shoulders. It adds intant glam to the most basic of outfits and keeps us warm and comfy in the colder months.
#2 Feather Earrings
Feather earrings come in array of sizes, shapes, and colors. And guess what? You’re boyfriend probably hates them. Why? It looks like a bird is stuck in your mane. Are you about to fly the coop? Not too dissimilar to their opinion of fur, men typically see a dead animal.
We love them because they lend a care-free, whimsical feel to our wardrobe. Feather earrings are so bohemian. So hippie-chic. So Rachel Zoe.
#3 The Jumpsuit
Jumpsuits can be a bit tricky. You definitely have to try a few on before you get the right shape and size. When you finally acquire the sexy, flattering jumpsuit of your dreams, you’re boyfriend will probably hate it. Why? It looks like a “onesie.” Why not just wear a snuggie? Are you too lazy to pick out matching shirt and pants?
Yes. Sometimes we are. We love them for their ease. A groovy high-five to the 1970s for creating this little gem. Typically, they come in soft, cozy fabrics like stretch-jersey. They can be dressed up or down with heels or flats, and are just the right amount of avant-garde for the everyday diva.
#4 Harem Pants
Harem pants are the quasi-cousin of the jumpsuit. They come tapered in the leg and often sport a draped fabric around the hips. And that’s exactly why you’re boyfriend hates harem pants. Let me reiterate a previous point: men want clothes that highlight your assets and diminish your flaws. The shape of harem pants are probably the exact opposite of that which your man finds sexy.
We love them because they’re undeniably cool. Throw on a pair of harem pants with a burnout tee, and give off an “I didn’t even try, but I just so happen to rule the fashion world” vibe. Not everyone can pull off harem pants, but those who can deserve a round of applause, in my book.
Fedoras have been around for ages. What used to grace the heads of the rat pack definitely started out as a men’s accessory. Since then, they’ve become unisex. So why does your boyfriend who is probably a huge Frank Sinatra fan hate fedoras? They cover up your gorgeous locks.
We love them because they cover up our locks on those not-so-gorgeous days. A desperate morning without time for shampoo causes for desperate measures, and a stylish hat is the way to go. Not to mention: instant swag. You know you feel like a bad-ass in a fedora.
#5 Red Lipstick
Red lips come in and out of style. Recent years have showcased crimson pouts and we seem to me moving into a realm of dark burgundy for fall. Red lips are sexy and classic, but your boyfriend probably hates them. Why? Because your lips are unkissible. When men stare at your pucker they have one thing on their minds: making out. When you have on red lipstick they think: sloppy mess.
We love red lips because they’re another nod to old Hollywood. After a decade of smokey eyes and nude lips, it was time for a change. Bambi eyelashes and merlot mouths took over. Red lips are sensual and romantic, whether your man agrees or not.